Hectic Mom Returns

It's been more than a month since my last confe- .... er...... blog entry. That means it's been 6 weeks since my last dose of Celexa. And the only notable difference is the lack of mid-night episodes of nausea. Score one for happiness!

Spring is here, and with that comes baseball season. Before long, we will be gone night after night at one practice or another, this game or that. It's by far my favorite time of year: getting to catch up with other baseball Moms, seeing many of my favorite players' siblings, and the occasional post-game ice cream stop. Lounging on a blanket, soaking up a few rays...... wait. Stop right there.

This year, I will be a bit more diligent about the sunscreen and take more care to avoid overexposure. I know no one wants to read the preaching that is about to follow, but YOU SHOULD READ ANYWAY. A short time ago (as in, within the last 2 months), a dear friend of mine received the wake-up call that none of us wants. She got the call confirming that a tiny spot on her arm was, in fact, melanoma. To be honest, I was terrified for her. Skin cancer is nothing to laugh at, not something to joke about, and something no one should ignore. I only got a glimpse of how this has impacted her life, but let me tell you that glimpse showed an enormous amount of impact. But in addition to reminding me of how precious our lives and bodies are, it brought about another realization.

I've had several people close to me who have had some form of cancer. By several, I mean at least seven that I can think of without diving too deeply into the puddles of the past. Of those seven, only three are more than 5 years older than me. And of those three, only one lost the battle. ONE. This doesn't make me take cancer lightly in any capacity. But it makes me realize how far the wonders of medicine have come. It's amazing..... wonderful. Brilliant.

So that's my preaching for today. Wear your sunscreen. Take care of your body. And if you happen to meet the monster that we know as cancer, don't be afraid. Face it head on, but with knowledge and appreciation for modern medicine. And LIVE to LOVE another day.

H.M.

Withdrawal, schmithdrawal

Everything I have read tells me not to stop "cold turkey." Withdrawal symptoms can be severe and may last up to TWO WEEKS! I suppose I am having some symptoms: moderate mood swings and dizziness/ lightheaded feeling. Nothing that's not manageable. 

Today was one of those days that feels as if it's on the verge of spinning out of control. Work and projects piled up with no rhyme or reason. It seemed like there was so much that I had to get done but I was losing ground as things were added to the list. Then, all at once, it all came together. Like a snap of the fingers, everything fell into place and I realized how much good I accomplished today. 

Rain pours over the stale snow, creating a slushy mess that even the dog won't enjoy. Lightning strikes once, twice. Then a rumble of thunder that is not distant. The house shakes in response, and a smile crosses my face. Just like the spontaneous birdsong I heard two days ago at first light, this thunderstorm whispers sweet reminders of the impending season. Spring. 

I close my eyes, and I can almost smell the new leaves and blossoms. I can feel the sun kissing my nose. Oh, how I look forward to spring. This winter was pretty typical. But we've been spoiled by short, mild winters lately; so this year seems brutal. Twenty-seven days until calendar spring. 

Happiness:5
Hectic Mom

Not losing track of HAPPY

I'm not going to lie; today was difficult. But I'm not jumping to conclusions. Didn't sleep well last night. I've been cranky, emotional. Today had its share of stressful opportunity. But none of it set me off (except maybe, the short people bickering today.... but that never changes, so it seems irrelevant.)

My youngest has growing pains. I feel helpless because the only thing I can really do about it is console him. I snuggle him a little tighter because it's apparent that my baby is growing up. I see what a loving, generous, goofy little guy he is and I'm proud. Such an independent little fella. He amazes me with his quirky tactics.

My tallest short boy is such an instigator! But he's got a fantastic imagination. He's funny and sweet, and he is always trying to make me happy.

Happy... that's really what it's all about, isn't it? By that measure, I am rich beyond belief.

So for today, HAPPY wins. Maybe a narrow victory, but a victory no less. I chose this victory.... I can continue to choose HAPPY. And I will...

Patiently waiting for spring,
Hectic Mom

Bringing it on...

Three days down. Life is good. I'm not going to say this isn't a surprise.... I really thought this would be more difficult. 

I've replaced meds with exercise. Signed up for a 5K in August. Did I ever mention that prior to this morning, I swore I would only run if I was being chased by a zombie or a guy with a chainsaw? This will be interesting. So, we can add "training for a 3.2 mile run and trying not to kill myself in the process" to the list of hectics. 

I do admit, my brain was a little fuzzy today. But I blame the fact that, in spite of the 2-hour delay for school, I got up early and exercised with Shaun T before work today. Tomorrow will be no different. That man calls to me at 5 AM tomorrow. I'm thinking maybe I should already be in bed! 

The good news is that I have been awesomely calm today. No flying off the handle at the bickering little people, no panicking (even though there is MUCH REASON to be panicked, I won't bore you more, slept great last night, and have had NO stomach troubles at all today. I've made the right choice here. Doctors don't always know best. 

Back to watching the snowflakes pile up. My biggest short guy said it best this morning: "All of this snow is AWESOME. But the super cold and crazy wind takes the fun out of it." I agree. Bring on the sunshine!

Warm thoughts,
Hectic Mom

Day 2

Down with Celexa. 
Today being Monday, I was a little worried about how things would go without the crutch of of faithful meds. The morning was rough, but I think it was more mental than anything. Yep, the anxiety was mental. Figure that out. Once I dove into the morning routine, the feeling of my heart pounding in my throat subsided and the day went without incident. 

Mondays are typically rough in the morning, as I try to shake the sleep out of my so-not-morning-people short kids. Work is a lot of preparing for the week. Scout meetings for both of my boys in the evening, after a rushed dinner in the hour we have between school and meetings. Did I mention that both meetings are at the same time, but not at the same place? Yeah. Makes it tough on those nights when DH is out of town or working late. Thankfully, tonight wasn't one of those nights. 

SO..... after two full days sans meds, one of which also held the typical Hectic Mom schedule, a new meal plan for me, and day one of a new exercise program... things are good. I am oddly at ease with my decision.  HAPPY wins today.

Hectic Mom

Put your foot in the air!

I'm laid up. Yep, couch bound for today. I'm not sick, not feeling lazy. I have a LOT to accomplish today: tutoring session, my own homework, laundry piles as tall as I am, feed these people I live with.... but I'm on the couch with my foot in the air. What happened? I kicked the dog. Before you call the animal police, I assure you that I didn't do it on purpose. That crazy pup was nipping at my ankles and I ever-so-lightly used my foot to push him aside. But it didn't go down that way. He nipped as I kicked. And my ankle caught his crushing jaw and all those pointy teeth. No blood, didn't even break the skin. But that ankle bubbled up and bruised almost instantly, and I've been on the couch ever since. (insert sigh) The small people are taking advantage of my gimpiness. Nothing is getting done. Happiness is hard for me to find today.

What I haven't mentioned is that last night was the first time in TWENTY MONTHS that I CHOSE not to take my little pink "happy pill." I am going completely A.M.A and throwing them out the window. The past few months I've been waking up in the middle of the night with a hunger that is simply indescribable. If I don't eat right then, the pain gets worse and I don't go back to sleep. I have gained way more weight than I care to admit. If I take said pill in the morning, I am sleepy all day. Simply put, it is no longer doing its job. So I fired it. And today was admittedly a little rough. I blame the dog. :-)

Tomorrow is a new day. Day 2. Deep breaths...

Here's to a happy tomorrow,
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